Chapter 4: The Plan

 Success! I'm not sure I would describe it as lucky, since I took the only course that was within reason, given how little information I had in my search for Jennifer: I returned to the park. Perhaps it was lucky that she was there again, though how luck comes into any of this, I don't really know. It's all very mysterious. But I was successful, because I found her again, and because now I won't lose her.

I drove out to Breithaupt park around the same time as I did yesterday, this time needing to leave my work for an early lunch. It was quite cold and the path was difficult to navigate after an overnight freeze left a layer of light powder on top and icy roughness underneath. I had to be extremely cautious coming down the big hills and it was hard work getting up them. There park was absolutely deserted because the holidays were over and the cold was keeping retired people close to their fireplaces. I wondered what would happen to me if I fell and rolled down a hill and couldn't get up, and the highway noise drowned out my screams. I cleared my mind of such thoughts and stepped even more carefully.

As I came up the path towards where I had last seen her, my heart started to race and I lifted my head to gaze over the hill. There she was again, coming up the path in the same way, at the same pace, wearing the same clothing. I thought I would be thrilled but I experienced a moment of nausea; everything was so extraordinarily similar I felt I was in a waking dream. I felt a wave of cold fear and strangeness and a desire to bolt the other direction, when Jennifer made eye contact and all these sensations fell away, and I felt only curiousity, happiness and calm.

"I'm glad to see you out here, so far from home, on such a cold day," she said, as she came up and too my hands.

"I didn't know how else to find you," I said. "I read your website and searched, but there was no contact information."

"Websites are necessary these days, in many ways," she said, "But I operate in the real world. That is where you will find me, and that is where I will find you. This is where we will see what we will see."

I had nothing to say to this, so she took my hand and we walked on. This time I was conscious of the cold, but it wasn't unpleasant.

"It's too cold today for a very long walk," she said. "And it's not necessary. You know now what you are capable of and there is no need to practice something one is sure of. Today we plan."

I remained silent. My mind, usually full of plans and immediate responses, felt utterly blank and uncertain what to expect or do next. And I felt no urge to discover these things through my own efforts, but totally willing to leave myself in her hands.

"Today is the second day of the new year," she continued. "This is the year you will see much more of your world. After that, we will see what we will see."

She was quiet for a moment.

"Some months will pass before you see me again. In that time, I want you to book a week-long vacation from your place of work for the second week of June - starting June 15. Once that is done, you must buy this list of equipment," - she handed me a piece of paper with typewritten notes on it - "and have it ready. Make sure you have worn the shoes a few times so they are comfortable, and that you know how to operate your tent and lanterns. Practice carrying everything on your back, but don't worry about training too hard - you will be able to carry with you what you need, and your legs and back won't fail you. Neither will your heart. If you will give me your home address today, I will come and collect you at 8 am on June 15. Do these things, but do not fixate on them. Live your life as you have planned for yourself, and I will meet you on June 15."

I grasped the pen she gave me with stiff fingers and scratched out my address. She squeezed my hands again and looked me right in the eyes.

"Do not fixate on this. Live your life as you will live it, and I will see you in the spring."

And then she turned and walked away, and I came back to my car. Now I must begin my preparations - but for what? 


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